Weekend Primed: Top 10 Video Game Quotes of all Time

This week, for the “Weekend Primed”, I’m going to step away from the videos, and post up, what I think are the top 10 video game quotes of all time. The only catch is, I’m going to try to stay away from a lot of the overused, and cliche video game quotes that have been  used 10 million times. *cough*all your base are belong to us*cough*. So, without further ado:

10) “You can’t hide from the Grim Reaper. Especially when he’s got a gun.” – Manny Calavera, Grim Fandango

Oh Grim Fandango, how much fun you are. Released in 1998 by LucasArts on the PC, Grim Fandango was primarily written by Tim Schafer, and was a sort of action-adventure game. As with a lot of adventure games at the time, there were tons of characters to examine, objects to collect, and puzzles to solve to delve deeper into the game.

The game was praised for it’s artistic design along with the direction the story took. Unfortunately, the game was considered a commercial failure, which ultimately led to the downfall of LucasArt’s adventure-game department.

9) “Man, this is like trying to find a bride in a brothel.” – Victor Sullivan, Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune

I mean, what the fuck can I say about this one? I guess I haven’t really heard too much of this one, but not having played Drake’s Fortune because #1 – I don’t own a PS3, and #2 – I’m poor; I think this might be a console seller.

8 ) “There are two ways of doing this. My way, or the he’s a dead motherfucker way. You pick.” – The Boss, Conker’s Bad Fur Day

Conker’s bad fur day is just one of those games. I mean, it was back when Nintendo didn’t really give a shit what came out on their consoles as much, and I mean, the game was fucking fun. The game was developed and published by Rare, and was re-released to buy on the Xbox in 2005. The main player plays as Conker, a fucked-up squirrel who drinks too much, and swears way too much. You can also check out another game in the series marked as Conker’s Pocket Tales tht was released on the Gameboy Color.

7) “Do a barrel roll!” – Peppy, Starfox 64

This is, without a doubt, a favorite in the list of most memorable video game quotes for gamers who have played Starfox 64. In case you haven’t played the game, it is when Peppy (the rabbit, as shown above), is constantly telling you to do a barrel roll by hitting a Z or R button twice, which will also give you a temporary shield to protect you from lasers.

I, like many gamers, can’t tell you why it’s really one of my favorites, but it’s just one of those quotes that stay in your head…and never leaves. It also leads to pictures like the one above.

6) “The cake is a lie.” – Graffiti, Portal

Portal is a game that is just fucking awesome, let’s face it. The game was published by Valve, and released on almost every console and “thing” that can play video games. It was available on the 360, PS3, PC, and also available to all of those consoles in Valve’s bundle: The Orange Box.

This “quote” is found in the later stages of the game when Chell is trying to escape Aperture Science, and she comes across some graffiti that is apparently written by somebody that goes by the name of “rat man”, who previously tried to escape from the area. What does it mean? You’ll have to play the game to find out.

5) “John Romero’s about to make you his bitch” – Daikatana

“John Romero’s about to make you his bitch.” That wouldn’t really make much sense if you don’t know the story behind it now would it? Well here it is.

John Romero has developed many a games, including Wolfenstein 3D, Doom, and Quake. Well, coming off of the “high” of the huge success as it were of Doom and Quake, John Romero decided to put out a minimalistic, full-page ad in some gaming magazines that read, and only read “John Romero’s about to make you his bitch”, for his upcoming game, Daikatana.

Well, delays and delays later, the game was released in April of 2000, and sucked really bad. It was a flop, and it perfectly exemplifies a video game designer getting overconfident about his upcoming game. Nevertheless, this quote will live on in video game history for a long time to come.

4) “You spoony bard” – Tellah, Final Fantasy 2

This quote is just another example of how early Nintendo’s censorship of games started. This quote, made by Tellah in Final Fantasy II, contrary to popular belief, wasn’t a translation error. It was translated literally from Japanese as “you son of a bitch”, but Nintendo wasn’t going to have any of that. Well, I guess that could be said as a huge decision as it is one of the most famous Final Fantasy quotes of all time, and in the top just play memorable video game quotes of all time.

3)  “The President Has Been Kidnapped by Ninjas. Are You A Bad Enough Dude To Rescue The President?” – Introduction, Bad Dudes

Okay, if you haven’t played Bad Dudes yet on the NES, then you’re missing out big time. The game is pretty much about that above quote right there. The president has been captured by some baddies, and you two “bad dudes” have to go out and get him back. Also, what other reason should there be to put this on there other than the fact that the words “President”, “Kidnapped”, “Ninjas”, and “Dude” are all in the same quote? Yeah, you pretty much can’t get much better than that….or can you?

2) “More Like Ten Shitloads” Marcus – Gears of War 2

Please don’t give me shit about this, but for me, it’s one of my favorite quotes of all time. I mean, when all of them are at King Raven, and somebody says “There’s a shitload of locust down there”. Then, as if it was going to add so much to the dramatic affect, Marcus says: “More like 10 shitloads”. I mean, it’s the corny type of line, that whenever somebody says shitload again, you’re just going to have to say “more like 10 shitloads”. Epic? I think so…..

1) “Prepare for unforseen consequences.” – G-Man, Half-Life 2

So far, for my favorite and most memorable video game quote of all time, I would have to go with “Prepare for unforseen consequences”, as said by the G-Man in Half-Life 2: Episode 2. The quote was originally said by Eli Vance before entering the test chamber in Black Mesa, but hearing it said again by the G-Man to a then-unconscious Alyx Vance was just fucking weird.

Seeing these words said to a character that most people became emotionally attached to in the game, and fearing for her saftey upon hearing this, most people just got even more enthralled in the game. It’s really that kind of quote that just stays in your mind, keeps you playing the game to see what happens, and keeps you waiting on the edge of your fucking seat for the next game in the series.

Close Contenders:

“All your base are belong to us” – Zero Wing

“I AM ERROR” – Legend of Zelda 2

“It’s dangerous to go alone. Take this!” – Legend of Zelda

“You were almost a Jill sandwich!” – Resident Evil

“War. War never changes.” – Fallout

“…But our princess is in another castle!” – Super Mario Bros.

“Would you kindly?” – Bioshock