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The Catch-Up: No More Heroes: Heroes’ Paradise

Did you know I had a PlayStation Move controller? Yeah, I got it at the same time I got my PlayStation 3 console. It came with Tiger Woods’ PGA Tour 12 (a game I still haven’t played) and the whole bundle just sat in my cabinet, never to be used.

Except I did use it. Once. When I downloaded the demo for No More Heroes: Heroes Paradise. I liked the demo and I’ve always wanted to play No More Heroes, but I vowed to never play it until I got a Navigation Controller Why? Because holding a DualShock 3 Controller sideways is dumb and uncomfortable.

Why all this backstory? Well, I eventually got my hands on the Nav Controller and managed to cross another game off of my backlog list: No More Heroes: Heroes Paradise.

The Good Times

Maybe loosen your grip?

Travis, dude, calm down.

Combat in the game is fun. Sure, the Move Controller isn’t used the say way the Wiimote is in The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, but something about swinging the Move Controller to deliver the final killing blow was really satisfying. It should also be noted that I played the whole game with the Move and Nav Controllers; the standard controller can suck it when it comes to No More Heroes. I also found myself standing up whenever I was in a fight or doing something that required me to swing the controller; I absolutely refused to sit down unless I was driving around or doing Squats or something.

Speaking of Squats, I was happy to see that Santa Destroy was more than just a lightly populated city and instead has a few stores and buildings that you can visit to take part in part-time jobs or Assassination Missions. I’ll admit, most of my time was spent replaying Assassination Missions in an attempt to get Gold medals (also for a trophy) and going to Thunder Ryu’s building for training. In fact, I think my thumbs still hurt from trying to button mash my way through Bench Presses. In a good way, mind you, because I wanted to raise my stats to the max before each Ranked Fight.

Don't mess with this guy. He'll make you strip.

I do like how No More Heroes: Heroes Paradise starts and simply throws you into a fight against a bunch of minions while on your way to the Assassin that’s Ranked #10. Including the opening and closing moments of the game, I like the way Heroes Paradise is paced. Outside of the Ranked Fights, there isn’t much story to be had while in Santa Destroy. I’m pretty sure you could marathon run your way though the Ranked Fights and spend as little time in Santa Destroy as possible. Hell, you could easily beat my time of 20 hours and 22 minutes. What took me so long? Well I wanted the last weapon and all of the parts for it before I finished. Same with the Training to raise my health, combo and strength. Those Lovikov Balls that you can find scattered throughout Santa Destroy? Found all 49 of those in about an hour. Collectibles are my weakness.

But anyway, the Ranked Fights. Each fight will ultimately put you up against one of the over-the-top, awesome, unique Assassins that you’ll have to deal with. Favorite fights? Rank #1 and The True Ending Fight. The Rank #1 fight is also where No More Heroes won my affection and, for lack of a better phrase, “’Sploded My Mind.” Similarly, the fight to get the True Ending against Henry (and the cutscene/revelations that followed) is so out of nowhere and awesome that I can‘t help but consider making No More Heroes: Heroes Paradise my favorite game on the PlayStation 3 so far. I will definitely be doing a second playthrough in the future (if not while I write this).

Meanwhile, watch where I fell in love with this game; the fun starts at about 0:30 seconds.


The Bad Times


But, alas, I did have some problems with the game. Some are my own fault for dying a lot and others are the fault of the game.

Where the game screwed me over is when I was in Travis’ motel room and tried to watch the No More Heroes trailer on his TV…my game froze and I lost about 45 minutes of effort. Meaning I had to re-find those Lovikov Balls, redo Part-Time jobs and Assassination Missions and redo the training and all the clothing I had just bought. Just to make this clear: Putting a lot of effort and time into something only to have that something malfunction, resulting in your effort turning into a waste of time, will forever suck. You could be playing the greatest game in the world, but if you’re ever in the situation that you have to do something over again because the game screwed up, you’ll be in a bad mood for several minutes. There’s a particular Assassination Mission I had to do over and still can’t get the time I got on it the first time I did it.

Santa Destroy could’ve done with a few more Save Points too.

All toilets should do this when you sit on them.

My other problem came from the entirety of the Bad Girl Rank #2 fight. Not that it was bad, but holy crap was I getting my ass kicked. Between all of the enemies with guns draining the energy out of my Katana and Bad Girl simply being insane, I stopped having fun for a bit. Honestly, my bad mood from having to deal with all of the minions carried over into the main boss fight. After I died three times, walked away and came back, I had a much better time. Sometimes all you have to do is just walk away. And in my case, complain on Twitter for a bit.


No More Heroes: Heroes Paradise is no Skyward Sword when it comes to its motion controlled combat, but it does what it has to. It’s a fun, over-the-top, exciting game and is probably the best ‘lightsaber’ game we’re going to have for a while. I liked it (as if you couldn’t tell) and plan on going through it again to get all of the Cards, Clothing, and see if I missed anything plot-wise on my first play through.

Also, after you beat the game once, all of the female characters get new outfits. And I wanna see them!

…..There may be a trophy related to seeing them all too. I don’t know, that’s not part of my motivation at the moment…

Kyree didn't have an N64 or Dreamcast as a kid (so sad) and he doesn't remember finishing any of his PlayStation games, but skip to the PS2/GC/Xbox era and everything changed. He hasn't been outside to play tag in forever, but he can recall playing way too much Smash Bros. and even more Kingdom Hearts; seriously, he can recite lines from it. I think he may have a problem.

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